


Open Up

by katasstropheee



Series: Tumblr Prompts [1]
Category: Elementary (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Gen, References to 2x21-22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 07:24:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2723726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katasstropheee/pseuds/katasstropheee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From a prompt on Tumblr: "Joan and Kitty go to a support meeting in which Joan opens up about her abduction."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Open Up

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by [worldiary](http://worldiary.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr.
> 
> I decided to post it on here because it was getting really great responses. I hope if you read this story, you will leave some feedback and kudos on your way out. :)

Kitty was crying. Well, not outright tears and snuffles, but her eyes were a little denser and redder than when she first entered the meeting. Now that it was over, Joan noticed how worn out she had become. Kitty was shifting, leaning over to pick her bag off the floor when their eyes met. She quickly produced a wad of tissues from her front pouch and dabbed at them furiously.

"Does it look okay?" She asked when she was finished.

"Yeah" Joan answered honestly, knowing Kitty was asking about her make-up, and not her usually-kept emotional barrier. "Did someone hit a nerve?" she asked, giving the girl space to back out of the question if she wished.

For once Kitty didn’t. They stayed seated as the others around them rose, to get their complimentary drink and biscuit, or just leave altogether. “Yeah, a little. That Mel lady, her experience sounded a little too much like mine, you know.”

"Yeah" Joan replied. She didn't know what to say, lost in the confines of the moment. Kitty was a locked chest, and it took a lot of Joan’s efforts just to get a glimpse of the woman still hurt by the actions that changed her. But here she was right now, seated by her within an empty circle, in a now vacated basketball court.

"What about you?"

It took Joan a moment to understand the question, given how quietly it came out of Kitty’s mouth. “Sorry?” she asked.

"I mean, I know this meeting was for me, but I could feel you shaking." Kitty had shifted in the small plastic chairs they were offered and now faced the ex-sober companion. "I don't mean to pry. After all, you didn't with me. But you were clenching your fists a lot, especially whenever someone mentioned being restrained, or vulnerable."

"Um, well it’s- uh.." Joan stuttered, altering her own position and turning away from the confrontation. "I understand if you don’t want to say anything. But we’re alone now," - and they were, the court was empty, and the far echo of shoes and mutterings had vanished, only protruding the vast silence - "and I’m a great listener, despite what Sherlock tells me."

Joan, for once in her life, jolted uncomfortably at the mention of his name. Not in disgust, nor in fear. Just in the discomfort of knowing, at times, that Sherlock could run his mouth, particularly with those he trusts. “So, what did Sherlock tell you?” she asked, pushing out his name through her slightly-clenched teeth.

"Not much" she replied honestly, "just that an incident occurred with his brother, and that you got involved."

Joan’s sigh of relief did not go unnoticed by the girl. She would've liked to celebrate it as an achievement for how far her deductive skills had come, but she knew the sagging shoulders and blushed-hard cheeks from her own experience. She let her hand wander to Joan’s, gripping it firmly and giving her the chance to renege. It was the least she could do, after all.

"I was in love with him" Joan began, "Mycroft. Well it wasn't love, more infatuation. He was tall, ruggedly handsome, but what I liked most about him was his honesty. And at that time, it meant more to me than anything Sherlock could've taught me." She snuffled, and silently thanked Kitty as she drew out yet another thick pile of unused tissues. "I know I sound ungrateful, selfish, but it’s just how I felt at the time."

She paused for a moment, choosing her next words carefully. “I won't bore you with the details. I got a little big headed and decided I was smart enough to follow a suspect alone. It wasn't even an official case; I just wanted to make sure that Mycroft knew that a criminal organisation was using his restaurant. I didn't know he was-“

She stopped, taking a large breath, halted by a tiny falter that Kitty barely noticed. She tightened her grip on Joan’s hand letting her know she could continue.

"Anyway, it was sudden. It was dark and I was being.. stupid. I let my guard down as soon as I saw the photo. It was of me, from a previous rendezvous with Mycroft. I was so stunned, I didn't even hear him approach me. But by then it was too late."

"Were you hurt?" Kitty asked, her voice trembling, like she was hiding her anger. Joan shuddered at the thought but kept her observations to herself. "No. Not physically anyway. The man’s cousin had been shot, perhaps in retaliation I don’t know, but I offered to help him. I don’t know why, I- perhaps I wanted to soften the blow, make them not want to kill me in the end.

"But that didn't work, couldn't have worked. His cousin was getting worse. There, uh- there wasn't much I could do. I told him, I said if he didn't get his cousin to a hospital, he'd die. But then he just- he… oh god, he- he shot him, and I stopped breathing. I still don't understand why.

"The rest of the experience was a blur. I remember feeling a gun on the back of my skull, but it’s a faint memory compared to the body on my slab. No, not my- sorry. It brought back memories I’d been trying to put behind me."

"You mean, of the man you lost?" Kitty replied, her voice lower, calmer, and her hand still lingering fondly in Joan’s fastened grip. "Sherlock told me; he said it was one of the first things he deduced about you. The other was that your hands smelled like bees."

Joan chuckled fondly at the recollection and wiped her eyes once more. “Yeah, but that was a long time ago. I haven't visited his grave in months.”

"Well, that’s good, right? It means you're getting better."

"I never thought about it. Other things just keep getting in the way of it."

Kitty considered this thought, then leant over forcing Joan to look up at her. “We are scarred Joan” she began, “deeply, and it won’t heal, not even over time. We can try to pretend we’re okay for the sake of the people we care about. But not all of them will buy it. And that’s okay.” She turned their hands so they were palm to palm, and weaved their fingers together. “It’s good to forget. It’s even better to move on.”

Joan lips quivered, and her cheeks felt warmer than when she first entered the court. “Uh, Kitty?” she spoke, carefully circling her thumb over Kitty’s trapezoid in ease, “Would you mind if I talked with you, sometime? Not now, but when you feel up to it.”

Kitty’s welcome smile was a breath of fresh air to Joan’s constricted heart. “Yeah I wouldn't mind at all.”

**Author's Note:**

> For more requests, or just a lot of Elementary fun (and feels, many feels), find me on Tumblr at [katasstrophee](http://katasstrophee.tumblr.com/).


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